I didn't dream of becoming a designer. I didn't think of moving to the U.S. either. Somehow things happened to me and made me do something I never even imagined I'd be doing. A nerd became a geek, then a retard, for a while a soldier, then now a legal alien in a foreign country. It's funny to see how I don't desire anymore the object I so much aspired and ended up being unexpectedly eager for something else. Many, maybe the most, of the adjectives I'd use to describe myself a few years ago do not fit any longer my current self. Well, Buddha was totally right in saying nothing is constant. I, both physically and mentally, am no longer the person I used to be. Never was and never will be.

The two most difficult question for me always have been "who are you?" and "what do you do?" They still are. I might know what I was and what I wanted, and yet I can't be sure of what I am and want now. I thought more knowledge and experiences would help me be sure and stand strong, but they never did. Look at me, I am so at my wit's end like a little boy.

They say I was born 28 years and 6 months ago. As the new year is coming in a few days, I see myself still struggling to be born.