- How many times I've been asked why I draw, I can't count. Well, I couldn't really answer such questions. I was a linguistics student, then a psychology kid, then a translator/interpretor, not supposed to be doing anything directly connected to arts, and I never considered myself an artist. Then why? Not being an art student nor an artist, not having ambition in arts, why did I do (and still do) something out of my profession and education?
- At times being cynically laughed at and even getting accused of showing off, pretending to be an artist, I felt forced to feel guilty. Maybe they're right in that I have other real things to do and that I'm wasting my time and efforts in doing something completely useless and vain, for my so-called arts would never bring me any monetary reward. Maybe I am lacking in sense of reality. Maybe I should stop doing this and focus on my real career. After all, I didn't find an answer to the question why I draw. I intentionally didn't carry my sketchbooks for a long while, but I found myself somehow drawing on napkins or anything. Well, maybe I'm just cursed to do this, I thought.
- Preparing some documents for school lately, I got to think again about why I do this. Looking back at myself and what I've been through, I found some common words in describing the things I did: communication, understanding, resonance, and human. It is the genuine interest in people and communication that made me do what I did, either professionally, academically or personally. I was always fascinated and even magnetized by people. Subjects of linguistics and psychology I studied, my professional career as a translator and my zeal in music and drawing all boil down to communication. Well, maybe this time I found the answer, I thought to myself..
- I always wanted to talk and be talked to, although not being very sociable nor outgoing. I wanted to understand and be understood. Arts and studies all are means of communication in essence, different in form but same in purpose. Be it with other people or with oneself, I was having a conversation all the time, improving mutual understanding between me and the world, by studying, working, drawing and singing. Although I didn't always intend to share my works and knowledge with other people, still I was in connection and communication. I felt connected and thus meaningful in the world.
- Shy of strangers, not too outgoing nor talkative, terrible at small talks, I might be a boring person to be with. I don't have many friends and I do prefer being alone, and yet I do have love and concern towards other people, other humans. Not the friendlies person on earth as I am, I do have sympathy and empathy. I want to communicate and resonate, and drawing helps me get that. Maybe they were right in saying I was lacking in sense of reality, because I believe there are multiple realiities in the world. My sense of reality is different from theirs, because my reality is not theirs. What I do, including drawing, may not pay my bills, but is not meaningless, for it's the proof of my being in the world.
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